Tomorrow
by moonangel1
Summary: After Stars Usagi and Mamoru have to deal with their fast approaching future and their fears about their relationship. Mamoru's planning to propose... but is Usagi going to say yes?UM. Only one chapter to go!
1. Chapter 1

  
Hi minna, this is my first romance that i'm posting on this site. so, uh, humor me and read it.   
Ok first off, i gotta warn you that i'm into angst right now. i usually jump at the opportunity at any possible   
angst cuz it just improves the whole feel of a romance. you know, it just makes it more interesting. so any   
story of mine is usually either comedy or romance w/ or w/o angst. and, well, you know this isn't a comedy.  
  
Anyways, this is about a year after the (anime) Stars series. I'm not even sure. It's not too relevant. The   
timeline might be a little off, Usagi's just gotten into college now and Crystal Tokyo is happening in two   
years. Oh, and no action. No senshi. I'm not even sure if I'll even have that many characters in it. Just   
Mamoru and Usagi right now. Oh, and Rei has a small part. And no, she's not in any way a romantic   
interest for Mamoru. I love Rei but a coupling between her and Mamoru just bugs me.   
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Sailormoon. I'm sure you know that... you better know that! ^_^;  
  
  
Tomorrow  
by moonangel  
ch 1 out of 2  
  
Chiba Mamoru stared at the ring. He couldn't believe that it'd finally been finished. When he couldn't find   
a ring perfect enough to fit his standards he'd had one made, designing it himself. Well, ok, he had a little   
bit of Rei's help. It had taken forever. Now he had one fit to replace the heart shaped promise ring on his   
beloved's finger. He closed the ring box. It wouldn't be good to drop the ring the day before he was going   
to propose.  
  
He couldn't believe that he was going to propose. Finally. After all the fighting, deaths and rebirths they'd   
finally be together. They could live their dreams. Ok, so he'd have to wait for her to finish college before   
they could marry. But still. This ring meant that they were actually going to get married. It made it a fact.   
Well, maybe he was jumping ahead of himself, he hadn't even asked yet! But really, after the whole Nemesis  
conflict he pretty much knew what her answer would be. They'd already meant their future daughter for  
Kami's sake! So why was he suddenly nervous? Why was he suddenly worried that there was a chance   
she wouldn't say yes right away? Or at all?  
  
Seiya.   
  
Sure, Seiya was leaving soon. But he and Usagi had seemed pretty close whenever he came back to visit.   
It was clear that he was in love with her and that she cared deeply for him, maybe even more than as a   
friend. She still insisted to everyone that he was just a friend, though. Mamoru had never even questioned  
her about it. In fact, for all she knew he was ok with it. He was. Really.... Well, more or less. He knew not to   
doubt her.   
  
Usagi wasn't the type of person who could even consider cheating on her boyfriend. It was just that her   
closeness with Seiya, a man who worshipped the ground she walked on and was able to openly she his   
emotions better than Mamoru ever could, was very intimidating. He'd never been good at being   
affectionate and for the first few years that they'd dated they rarely even held hands in public because of   
the age difference. Seiya was an equal to her. Mamoru just couldn't connect to her on that level. He was too  
old.   
  
Rei and the others had assured him that sure, Usagi and Seiya were close, but the bond between the two   
could never interfere with Usagi's love for Mamoru. She was Usagi's best friend so she knew. In fact, the   
girls had encouraged him to propose soon, saying Usagi would be depressed with everyone leaving. She'd   
helped with the arrangements with everything. Her, Ami and Makoto were the only ones who knew that he   
was planning to propose tomorrow. No one had dared inform Minako considering how big her mouth was.   
The ditz didn't understand the word "secret".   
  
So he should be confident. He shouldn't doubt them. She'd say yes. Why wouldn't she? Then again, it was  
one thing to tell yourself that, it was another to-   
  
"I can't. I'm sorry Rei-chan. Maybe I'm being idealistic, but it's hard to accept it if it mean *this*!"  
  
His eyes perked when he heard his Usako's voice. During his musings he had somehow led himself to the   
park on the way to his apartment. Glancing around the corner, blocked by a few trees, he saw a tired   
looking Usagi, though still as gorgeous as ever, arguing with a distraught Rei. Rei looked wary. It seemed   
like they had been arguing for a while and Rei didn't seem too happy with it. Curiously, he stayed behind   
the trees to see what was going on. He never eavesdropped. Yet, whatever they were discussing   
seemed to be pretty serious and he didn't want to interrupt. Which of course meant that he should leave.   
But maybe it might involve him and he could help. Sure, riiight.   
  
"Usagi, it's your destiny," Rei said quietly. "You know I don't like it any more than you do. I know how   
upset you are but there's no other way."  
  
Destiny? Rei couldn't possibly have actually *told* Usagi that he was planning to propose could she? No.   
The topic seemed to be of an unhappy nature anyways.   
  
"There's always another way. The future isn't set in stone."  
  
"But it is! Ok, so it's open to some changes. But not this! We *saw* the future. It doesn't matter what you   
want. It-"  
  
"So I'm a slave to the future? What I want doesn't matter? I didn't ask for this! I want freedom. I always   
have. I don't want destiny to tell me what to do, to make the decisions in my life for me!"  
  
Rei looked away. "I'm sorry Usagi. I truly am. But I can see no other way around this. This would effect the   
whole future we saw. It could screw up the whole timestream. It'll upset everything."  
  
Usagi sighed, "I need to think this over."  
  
Rei nodded in understanding. But as Usagi turned to leave she grabbed her arm. Usagi looked to her   
confused.  
  
"You have to talk to Mamoru-san. I know you want to avoid it and it's clear you're upset right now but he   
has a right to know-"  
  
Usagi hung her head.   
  
"I know."   
  
Then she walked away.   
  
  
  
Rei stared after Usagi, worried. She hated playing devil's advocate for her friend. She really just wanted her   
to be happy. But as senshi they had a responsibility to the world. And what Usagi wanted could   
completely alter the future. If only Setsuna hadn't told them. Usagi just couldn't handle it right now. But   
Setsuna said she had a good reason, despite not looking too happy about it. From her demeanor Rei sensed   
that she wasn't telling them something and she had a feeling it had something to do with the timing.   
  
"Were you ever planning to tell me?"  
  
She whirled around at the sound of the familiar voice coming from behind her. "Mamoru!"  
  
He looked angry. Scratch that. He looked like he was going to tear off her head. "How much did you hear?"  
  
"Enough."  
  
She looked at him nervously. He didn't shout or anything but he just stood there, shaking with fury and   
something else... pain? Why? It was a rare emotion for him so she knew to take this seriously. But what was  
going on? Well, at least now she knew how the victims of her fiery temper felt. Why was he so angry?   
Before their last heated debate she'd reassured Usagi that he wouldn't be upset. Now she was thinking that   
she should change her stance on that. "Look, it's not my place to tell you. I mean, it's your life."  
  
"Yes, and it's my life that's falling to pieces!" he yelled. "As my *friend* you should have told me that she   
was in love with Seiya! You assured me that-"  
  
Rei blinked, "Wait, Seiya? What does this have to do with Seiya?"  
  
He growled, "Don't play stupid with me."  
  
"No, Mamoru-san, wait! What are you talking about?"  
  
His voice was deadly low as he bit out, "Don't. Don't even try. I can't take this."  
  
And he left, walking away stiffly, as if he wanted to be anywhere but there. Rei could only just stand there   
staring at him, too confused to follow him and by the time she figured out what was going on he too far   
away to reach. 'Oh, no. I've got to find Usagi!'   
  
  
Usagi stared at the building in front of her. She had to talk to Mamoru.   
  
Usagi hoped more than anything that he was home. After a lot of thinking she'd finally come to accept the   
fact that she couldn't control destiny, that she had to face him, tell him what Setsuna had told her five   
hours ago. Rei was right. She had to be honest with him. It was up to him what he'd do about it. She really   
didn't want to tell him that the future was nearing. It had seemed so much easier when they'd known it   
would happen eventually, but way off into the distant future. Now Setsuna was giving them a date. She   
was saying, It's not something to put aside thinking about until later, it's happening now. Well, now was in   
two years. But still. That made it more real. She'd always known that sooner or later she'd have to become   
Neo-Queen Serenity. But she'd figured that she'd grow into that; that when the time came she would be   
ready. Now that there was a set date for it to happen she had to be ready. And she wasn't. The reality of it   
had never hit her until now. Ruling the whole world? She could barely manage to make it to school on time!  
Granted, at least she'd made it to college, but still. She wasn't ready to be a queen and she doubted she was  
very capable.   
  
But that wasn't even the most upsetting part that was bugging her! She refused to accept the fact that she'd   
have to banish people. That's how Nemesis was formed anyways, it was practically a requirement for the   
future that they'd seen to happen. They'd banish a group of rioters that would eventually become the Black  
Moon family. That's how it was meant to happen, as Rei pointed out. Yet, as queen, wasn't she supposed to  
save people? Wasn't she supposed to accept everyone? She just couldn't deal with it! It was like being a   
big bully and saying, Hey, you don't agree with me so you can't live on my planet. It was absurd! Usagi   
was never a person who would give up on people. Despite how it could interfere with the timestream she   
hoped to find another way. Rei said that opposition would do nothing to help them form a utopia. But that   
made little sense! She was supposed to just kick them out because they weren't being cooperative? Rei   
kept saying that no matter what she wanted she had to do this. So destiny was telling her she had to be a   
dictator. If destiny said so, then Rei said she'd have to do it. She needed to talk to Mamoru about this. It  
was just too much. She had to stop thinking about it or it'd give her a headache.   
  
Things were happening so fast. The Three Lights were leaving in three days and Chibi-Usa was returning   
home after her last visit.   
Ever. The next time she would see her would be when she gave birth to her. That moment had seemed so   
far away before...  
  
She had no idea how Mamoru would take this news. If his reaction would be anything like hers she   
doubted he'd be too happy. He wanted to become a doctor and now his dreams could never come true   
because he had a greater responsibility to take on. He'd never asked for this. None of them had. For him, it   
just came with the package. The package being her. Yet he could be free of it all. It was her responsibility in   
reality. If he left her, he didn't have to be king. He could pursue his dreams. She knew that it was silly, she   
shouldn't question his love and loyalty to her. But it would be so easy for him to just up and leave. He   
could be free. She shook her head. As Rei had said, he had a right to know. It wasn't her decision to make,   
it was his. After a few hours of trying to figure things out and let her doubts take charge she'd finally   
gotten up the courage to come here. He loved her. If anything, she needed to talk to him to have his   
assurance that everything would be ok. He could always make things better. Despite her worries she was   
eager for his comforting presence. Anyways, he would be happy to see her. With everything that had been   
going on she hadn't seen much of him that week.  
  
Resolutely she entered his apartment building and got into the elevator. As she reached his floor she   
squared her shoulders and told herself she could do it. But when she found his apartment she saw that the   
door was open. He never left it open, or even unlocked for that matter. Worriedly she decided to enter.   
  
She glanced inside, surprised that no lights were on. And he was nowhere to be seen. Something was   
clearly wrong. Her hope that this would be easy, that he would understand and only be supportive of her,   
was starting to dwindle. Looking around she finally spotted him on the balcony outside the sliding glass   
door. He made quite a picture, his back stiffly facing away from her, raven black hair rustled lightly by a   
passing breeze. If she didn't know him so well she'd feel intimidated. In his hand he held a glass of a clear   
liquid and he seemed to be staring at nothing. Something about what he was drinking bugged her... Beside   
him, on the balcony ledge, she spotted a brown, half-empty bottle and her eyes widened. He never drank   
alcohol. She looked at him again and before she was even able to say his name he spoke.  
  
"I was expecting you to come. I'm surprised you took so long."  
  
She blinked. His voice was dead, devoid of all emotion and he didn't even turn around to look at her. This   
was not the warm welcome she had been hoping for.   
  
"Y-you were?" her brow furrowed. What... ? "D-did you talk to Rei?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
Usagi bit her lip. He didn't seem very responsive and her hopes fell. So he wasn't happy. She should have   
expected that. It's just that... she had hoped that he'd be supportive, or at least a little understanding. Or at   
least not angry. Was he mad that she hadn't come to him immediately? Why had Rei talked to him before   
letting her at least explain things to him?  
  
"You don't seem to be too happy about it," she stated uncertainly.   
  
"You expected me to be?" he asked sarcastically, a bitter note in his voice.   
  
She winced. This was not a Mamoru she was used to. He was never like this. Even when they'd broken up   
for that short period of time he'd been at least mildly cordial. Was it really that bad? Did he feel like she was   
holding him back? At least the future that was sneaking up on them guaranteed that they would be   
together. That, along Chibi-Usa, was her only consolation. But for him, was she worth it?  
  
"... No, it's just that... I was hoping you'd... understand."  
  
He laughed cynically, "I can't believe that i was planning to propose to you tomorrow."   
  
Her eyes widened. What? Propose? Before her hopes could rise again she paused. He wasn't acting like a   
man who was eager to marry his girlfriend.  
  
And what did he mean by "was"?   
  
"And now?"  
  
He paused and took a swig of his drink. He tossed the glass out over the ledge. Her eyes widened in   
surprise. And then he took a swig from the bottle. Finally, he spoke.   
  
"Everyone needs their freedom,"   
  
So that was his decision. She hadn't believed that he'd give her up just so he could have his freedom. But   
why not? He'd always had to protect her and put saving the world in front of his own needs. He deserved   
happiness too and if this was how she could give it to him then so be it. Her eyes were watery with fresh   
tears ready to spill. She nodded her head, even though he couldn't see her.  
  
"I understand. I'm sorry you had to put up with me for so long. I know I don't deserve that but... I will no   
longer be your responsibility," she managed to get out, her voice wavering with the threat of tears. And   
then she was gone.   
  
  
She ran. That was all she could do. Tears spilled down her face but she barely felt them. She was numb.   
That hadn't just happened. She couldn't accept it. It simply wouldn't sink in that her whole world was   
crumbling around her. The implications of the break up and now altered future just couldn't reach her   
troubled mind. Yesterday things were perfect. And tomorrow, had he really been planning to propose?   
How could Setsuna do this to her? Why did she have to choose today to tell her about her destiny? Then  
again, it was better this way. If he had proposed it would have been that much worse for her when he   
decided she wasn't worth it.  
  
She had thought that he loved her. Had she been wrong? Or had he simply not loved her enough?   
  
More tears fell.  
  
  
He stared out at the city as he heard the door close. He finished the bottle and tossed it towards the   
pavement, eight stories below him. So she was gone. He had actually hoped that she'd have begged for   
him to change his mind. That she'd come back any moment and beg him. But that wouldn't happen. He   
knew it wouldn't. So why did he keep expecting her to come back through that door? The tears fell before   
he even noticed. He never cried. Well, rarely. Only for her.   
  
He bit back a sob and in moments he collapsed on the balcony ledge, sobs wracking his body.   
  
  
to be continued...  
  
  
ok, that was depressing huh? and very unoriginal with the whole overhearing and misunderstanding a   
private conversation bit.   
i know it's kinda depressing. but i just think a little angst makes the romance that much sweeter when the   
happy ending comes around. and yes, there will be a happy ending if i actually get to finishing this. i doubt   
i'd ever go w/o one... it depends on the story. if you've got a good story in your head you can't change it   
around just 'cuz it doesn't have a happily ever after ending to it. that ruins the story... ok, rambling.   
  
so anyways, there'll prolly be only one more chapter, knowing how i am. and if you actually want that   
chapter written you should review 'cuz i'm not sure if i'll let laziness kick in and not finish it. hehe, sorry, i'm   
not begging for reviews or anything, i just seriously don't know if it's worth finishing the story.   



	2. Chapter 2a

Sorry it's so late! My computer died so I lost what I had of the second chapter. It was   
so discouraging! It was just too depressing trying to rewrite it. My attempts sucked so bad. I just   
needed a break from it. But now I'm able to improve upon my previous ideas.   
  
So, yeah, I've changed things a bit. I even added Seiya in a part (hope there's no Seiya haters out there).   
And it's a huge improvement on this big senshi meeting filler part I'd written in the first version.   
  
Oh, and if it gets a bit choppy at parts, blame it on me reading too many of eternal angel's fics. I'm trying to  
go for that kind of artistic style, and I've never been great at it but it fit the scene and I hope I pulled it off   
well enough for it not to fry your brains.   
  
PLEASE READ: This is only part of a chapter. I'd intended to post the finished product all in one chapter   
but I felt bad for promising to finish it centuries ago. So I won't make any promises about the last half. Also,   
since I'm not done with the second half of this I probably will change a lot of what's in here, it's really like a   
rough, rough draft. So you can give me advice or negative feedback if you want. I'm seriously considering   
cutting out or changing the last half. It's kind of just filler stuff right now. I'm sure you'll notice the lack of   
angsty-ness in this one but I felt like making it more about apathy and giving up on life than about wallowing   
in absolute misery. But hey, if you want angsty I can try for angsty. So opinions please! Do you   
guys want Seiya to have a big part or small one? Take advantage of this, I'm normally not so open to   
suggestions! But I'm really just kinda up in the air about how I want this chapter to go and am feeling pretty   
uncomfortable about the flow since I'm using of bit of eternal angel's style.   
  
Tomorrow  
by moonangel  
ch 2a out of 2  
  
  
"You don't look too happy."  
  
Silence.   
  
"Ok bad joke. But Odango, I'm worried about you. We all are... *sigh* fine, be that way. You know I   
can only stay a week longer. The princess needs me back soon but I can't just leave with you here in this   
state!"  
  
Seiya sighed. It was a bit frustrating trying to have a serious conversation with a door. Then again,  
this was the closest anyone had gotten to Tsukino Usagi in the past two weeks. She'd simply refused   
to come out and her parents, despite being overwhelmed with worry, had been a bit miffed that not one  
of their often used and consistently heeded threats had gotten through to her and had backed off   
completely. They decided to just put food outside her door during meal times and hoped she'd come   
out sooner or later, realizing with a great deal of frustration that this was out of their hands. Seiya had a  
feeling that on some level they were starting to understand that there were some things about their   
daughter that they could never control.   
  
Despite Rei's protests Seiya believed that he should be the one to get through to her. He and the   
senshi knew what had happened after Rei'd filled them in. But when they tried to explain to Usagi she   
hadn't listened. Well, it seemed that she hadn't. It was hard to tell when one was conversing with a door.  
So after the last hour or so of arguing with an inanimate object, Seiya was starting to get a bit peeved.   
  
Another equally annoying fact was that Mamoru had disappeared off the face of the Earth, ironic since   
it was his planet. So Seiya couldn't try to explain the situation to him. Not that Mamoru would listen.   
The man was too stubborn to listen to reason. And he wasn't any greater at controlling his jealousy,   
not that he ever tried to. But Setsuna insisted that even if Mamoru would believe him, this was   
something that the two moping lovers needed to work out by themselves (that seemed to be all she was  
willing to tell them, despite their questions about her knowledge of the situation considering that she   
had triggered this turn of events). So yeah, they were so supposed to let the couple handle things on   
their own... Though a little push wouldn't hurt.  
  
Staring with defeat at the stupid door that kept him from the woman he loved, he tried one last time,  
deciding to stop with the whining and begging. He needed to stop trying to coax her out and just... talk,  
make one big last ditch effort. She had to be listening.   
  
"Odango, you love him. Any idiot with his head screwed on backwards could tell. And he loves you.   
We've been through this and I'm not going to waste any more time trying to convince you of that fact.  
I'm sick of this. After days and days of coming here, arguing the same points, I'm just getting so tired.   
It's just getting harder and harder to think of the right words that'll do the job. So I'm done throwing   
that 'true love', 'destiny' and 'soulmate' bull your way. But I just want to make one last try..."  
  
  
  
"... as I said, you love him..."  
  
A desolate figure sat on her rumpled bed, hugging her legs, seemingly oblivious to the frustrated young  
man standing outside her door. If anyone was to see her they'd wonder if she was a statue, unmoving,  
untouchable...  
  
"... more than I've ever seen anyone love anyone before..."  
  
She stared blankly out the window, wisps of ghostly, silver blond hair flowing around her in the cold   
breeze that blowing in behind her open curtains.  
  
"... and it just amazes me, every time, seeing that look in your eyes that tells me you're thinking about   
him. I never knew it was possible for anyone to love so much...."  
  
She shivered slightly in the breeze, her thin clothes impossibly wrinkled, her eyes impossibly red and   
swollen.  
  
"... Odango... say what you seem to believe is right. Say that there's a chance, no   
matter how nonexistent I believe it to be, that he doesn't love you..."  
  
Her lips trembled.  
  
"... I know it's the scariest thing in the world. I know how your heart has shattered and you can't even   
begin to even look for the pieces, much less try to start picking them up. And the world has fallen   
apart and the sunniest skies only seem to mock your mood..."  
  
She seemed so helpless against the cold. You'd think she was just a child, until you looked into her   
eyes...  
  
"... but inside, you know there's still a chance. Even if it's just the tiniest chance, you know it's there.  
And you push it away and ignore it, afraid to put your tattered heart out on your sleeve one last time,   
knowing that taking that chance only to lose it could destroy you forever. Because deep down you know   
that though you deny it, it's the only thing keeping you alive..."  
  
Those sad blue eyes shimmered.  
  
"... but ask yourself this: why are still you holding on? Why are you still clinging to that chance? I   
know you'd tell me that if you took the chance that he might actually love you and found out he didn't  
you'll just die right there. Losing him was far too much, right?"  
  
A lone tear spilled down a porcelain cheek.  
  
"... Odango, I think I'm starting to realize something. This is real. This, what you two have, it's forever.   
You two love each other! And I think that just may be all that really matters. That that's all that's ever   
mattered. You *love* him. And that's the most amazing feeling in the world. You of all people should   
know that. So now that you're being all depressed are you going to tell me that you'd give it all up, all   
those happy times and wonderful feelings, just to avoid this pain? I know you Odango Atama. You   
wouldn't. It's eating away at you but you'll never give it up. So I'm asking you why you're giving up now.   
There's a chance. I'll be honest with you, if I believed just for a second that there was even a speck of a   
chance that you might love me I'd go for it, welcome the pain, just to take that one chance on it... I'd give   
everything for it..."  
  
Her hand clutched at her heart.   
  
"... Onegai, all I ask of you is don't be a coward. That isn't you. You've heard us. Don't tell me you   
haven't. You heard our little explanation for what he said and yeah, I know it sounds lame. And that just  
made it easy to toss it aside as an attempt by the senshi trying to make their friend happy and keep the   
happy future they were promised, or whatever you choose to think. But please, just listen. Take the   
chance. Kami-sama, you know what I always loved about you was that you've always preached your   
heart out about love. Even in the bleakest situation I always believed that you of all people would bet on   
love. You are the strongest person I've ever met. Onegai, don't let me down Odango..."  
  
There was silence outside until she could hear a defeated sigh and the sound of footsteps retreating   
down the stairs. For a long while after that Tsukino Usagi stared at her bedroom door.   
  
  
  
It was so sunny outside it killed her. To think, just the simple warmth of the sun's rays used to be   
enough to make everything in the world seem right. Yet, these days the blistering heat of that annoying   
bright spot in the sky hardly mattered to this deathly pale girl who had cooped herself up in her room for   
two weeks, living off the food her parents left at the door. It was funny how they couldn't deal with the   
depressed, mature Usagi. They were at a complete loss. Unfortunately, it seemed everyone else knew   
what had happened, more or less. Did Pluto tell them? Did Rei figured it out?   
  
Did they find out from Mamoru?   
  
... and did she have to mention his name? Not that it should matter since he was all she ever thought about.   
But somehow just thinking his name brought on an extra wave of pain.   
  
Why did Seiya always know how to get through to her? Why couldn't she just forget what he'd said? Why   
couldn't she just cry her heart out like every day in who knows how long she'd been in there...  
  
'You preach.. about love... Even in the bleakest of situations... you of all people...'   
  
Kami-sama! Why couldn't she forget what the senshi had told her from the other side of the door?   
  
A misunderstanding? Chiba Mamoru just didn't get jealous. He would not get upset over something as   
silly as this, surely, and how could he possibly think that she and Rei were arguing about Seiya?   
  
No.  
  
They were just lies. Just misguided attempts to cheer her up. Did they even know the truth? Didn't they   
see that he didn't want her enough? Didn't love her as much as he'd always claimed he did? So what   
if there was a billion to one chance that they were right? She wasn't betting on that one against that billion.   
Anyways, it didn't matter...   
  
'Say that he doesn't love you... but... you *love* him... the most amazing feeling... that's all that   
matters... bet on love...'   
  
Stop! Why did she keep hearing him in her head? He knew she couldn't handle it. Why was he asking  
her to face *him* again? Why was he asking her to get her heart stepped on one more time?  
  
'... welcome the pain... just to take that one chance...'  
  
Onegai... dame... dame...  
  
'Onegai, all I ask is don't be a coward... just... one... chance... all i ask... don't be a coward... you are the   
strongest person I've ever met...'  
  
... so prove it.  
  
  
  
Usako...   
  
He traced the lines of the beautiful face staring back at him from behind the glass. This was his favorite  
picture of her. Her eyes... they said so much, they had seen so much and yet her smile was brighter than the   
sun... she was so beautiful it hurt to look at her.  
  
'I was a jerk to the woman I love. How did I let myself be so cruel to her? All these years she's been   
teaching me how to love, how to open up to people. I gave my heart saying I wanted nothing in return,   
claiming that I'd learned how to love unconditionally, telling her that the scars from all those years  
alone were gone.   
  
'Yet when I got scared I became that lonely seven year old again. All her work undone... because no   
matter how much I changed, how much I tried to change, inside there was that seed of doubt, that fear   
that I'd lose it all, in other words, lose *her*. You can't grow if there's something holding you back... and   
I reverted to my old self, lashing out at my love to protect myself. Why couldn't I let her be happy? It   
must have been so hard for her to make that decision... and all she was doing was being honest with   
me... she couldn't lead me on when she loved Seiya instead.'  
  
Chiba Mamoru would have beat himself on the head if it he had the energy. Or the will really. He barely  
could lift his head from the picture frame in his shaking hand. Lucky for him his healing ability seemed   
to cover hangovers and headaches that came from crying all night. Unfortunately, it also sobered him   
up a little too quickly. So he'd given up on that escape from reality. Then there came the self-loathing for   
hurting his darling Usako in any way so he just welcomed the pain that he'd been trying to avoid with   
the beer. Who needed alcohol to screw up their lives when they could do all the screwing up   
themselves? Anyways, he'd never really liked that stuff.   
  
With some reluctance he set the picture frame down. These past two weeks he'd spent staring at the   
wall, almost reveling in the aching pain he felt in his chest at the thought of her. Because it seemed that  
he couldn't feel. Without her light there was an emptiness inside that would only go away when the   
pain sunk in.   
  
During the break up a few years ago, staying away from her hurt like hell but at least he knew she still   
wanted him. He knew that all he had to do was say the word and she'd come running. And he could   
watch her from afar. Before they were together, in the two lifetimes he'd spent longing for her just the   
sight of her had been enough. Living with the memory of her smile, her touch, her kiss... it had been   
torture. But he could survive somehow. Now he didn't have the comfort of her love, of knowing that the  
only reason she wasn't with him was because he was protecting her. Loving and protecting her. That was  
his life. She was his life. And surely he had made her miserable.   
  
Suddenly, in the midst of his self pity trip, he felt a rush of wind and a figure in black appeared, then   
blurred, turning into a slightly lanky, dark haired man. He didn't bother to act surprised, feeling almost  
too apathetic to feel anything about this random visit, and he dully cocked his head towards the   
intruder.  
  
"You do realize that coming here wasn't exactly the brightest idea you ever had, don't you? I'm feeling   
very much like beating you to a pulp."  
  
The cocked his head, "Why?"  
  
Giving him a disbelieving look, Mamoru narrowed his eyes. But before he said a word something flickered  
in his eyes and he paused, all his anger leaving him as he lowered his eyes to the ground.   
  
Seiya nodded in understanding, saying, "She's not yours and it's not your decision whether she chooses  
you or with me. Nice to know that you're not going to get all hothead and leave me with a few broken  
bones."  
  
Mamoru's eyes wouldn't leave the ground as he muttered, "So what are you doing here? Here to gloat?"  
  
Seiya sighed, "Actually, I'm here to throw in the towel. You won. I lost. Not that there was any contest,   
despite what you're obviously thinking."  
  
He leaned casually against the wall, ignoring Mamoru's doubtful look.   
  
"You know, I think I'm breaking some kind of rule here, trying to reason with you," he continued.   
"Setsuna's gonna have my head on a platter by the end of the day, I swear. She keeps saying all the   
senshi can't interfere for some reason. Though they all thought you'd disappeared. Funny how none of   
them thought to try entering your apartment through your balcony and seeing if someone was home.   
Look, I know that this is between the two of you so I'm butting out. I think I just needed to do something.  
Even if she doesn't love me it still kills me to see her so miserable."  
  
Ignoring Mamoru's troubled looks and confusion, Seiya glanced at his watch, sighing dramatically, "I   
probably can't stay longer or say more without a certain green haired senshi coming in and dead   
screaming my head off. So I'll get to the point. I'm just here to say that if you don't let her explain then,   
well, you know she has my number. Ja ne, Mamoru-san."  
  
Feeling in need of a dramatic exit, he leaped out the window, leaving a blank Chiba Mamoru staring  
out after him as he transformed in midair.   
  
After what felt like barely two seconds of contemplating Seiya's odd visit, he felt something. A tug.   
He hadn't felt his connection with her since she'd fled his apartment who knows how long ago yet suddenly   
he felt a twinge in his heart. Whatever it was, it gave him an indescribably powerful urge to see her, to make   
things right, to apologize for blaming her for his rotten lot in life.   
  
Only moments after Seiya's exit another dark figure could be seen leaping out into the night.   
  
  
  
She didn't know why she knew he'd show. She just did. It felt like something inside her had called to him  
and now for some reason she felt sure that he would answer. As she sat there, wincing at the bright   
sunlight that rudely penetrated the storm clouds that seemed to follow her around, Usagi shivered despite her  
warm surroundings. It took a bit of adjusting to, being outside after weeks of a taking hiatus from life. It didn't   
help that she felt incredibly wired, on edge as her foolish heart pumped in its eagerness to see him again.  
  
  
to be continued....  
  
  
Ok, I'm pretty rusty right now and I did say that I'll probably fix this chapter up a bit later, to what extent even I   
don't know, so any constructive criticism won't kill me. I never claimed to be an English major! (actually, that was   
one of my not so wonderful subjects in high school ^_^;)   
  
As for the major angsty-ness, I always felt that it'd be nice for Usagi and Mamoru to work out a few   
issues. My main goal is to make them define their relationship without the million outside factors they   
always face and to address Mamoru's insecurities since Usagi's were dealt w/ already during the break   
up, more or less... heh, these two have issues. At least in my fic! I mean, in the anime it's like, they just  
know that they love each other. I want some effort here! Have them you know, try to tell each other for  
once.  
  
PS. i realize that parents in general wouldn't give up that easily on their kid if she's in pain.... it's just in SM   
fics they're always like that and i figured that i could take that liberty. 


End file.
